with Tara Emery
Looking for a Disconfirming Experience
As our human brains are designed to keep us alive and protect us from danger they have a tendency to pick up the negatives, and scan our environment for hazards. As we age the potential hazards can become more and more making it feel like our view of world gets more narrow. Often we are not even aware that are bodies are bracing for danger, especially if our early childhood was a challenging one. Much of our traumatic experiences (my fav. definition; any negative life experience where we experience helplessness) are actually stored in our body and are often triggered by our senses, such as a smell that can bring use right back to the moment. When these body memories are triggered it can feel like we are reliving our trauma and unless something changes this cycle can go on and on.
A Disconfirming Experience interrupts this cycle, it is the moment we realize the trauma is over and perhaps that we do not have to be afraid any longer. If we had experiences of not being loved or only being loved part-time it would be a realization that we are completely lovable, even when we make mistakes. We usually need support to discover these disconfirming experiences, we are social animals designed to connect! I recommend finding a registered somatic therapist for this. However, we can also look for little ones in our everyday life by practicing mindfulness, soaking up joy and gratitude, challenging automatic thoughts and studying our bodies.
A great resource to help practice mindful gratitude, https://gratefulness.org
Wishing you wellness as you soak up the Joy this month!
- I would like to honour my teacher Mariah Moser, openingtograce.com for teaching me about this amazing topic, Disconfirming Experiences.